The indomitable Ms Wolfe
by Dr.Lancaster
Summary: Bernie Wolfe and Serena Campbell are in love, but though their love is simple, life has a habit of making things a lot more difficult than they need to be.
1. Robbie

Serena was walking into work when she saw her. Bernie Wolfe was sat on a bench, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, a half smoked cigarette before her on the ground sending tendrils of smoke up into the cool air. Serena took another step towards the hospital building, intending to leave her be, but even from this far away she could see it wasn't just a morning break she was having. Glancing at the building, Serena took a deep breath and then diverted her course, walking instead towards the blonde.

"It's only 10am, surely things can't be that bad up there yet!" Serena offered as she sat beside Bernie, her heart giving an involuntary flutter when the brown eyes looked her way before returning to look at the cigarette.

"It's pretty quiet upstairs." Was all she got in reply, Bernie's voice almost a whisper of tired emotion.

Sitting so her back could rest against the cold, damp back of the wooden bench, Serena reached out and placed a gentle hand against the icy coldness of the blonde's shoulder blade. "Want to talk about it?"

Bernie shook her head at this, sighing a deep, unhappy breath from her lungs before turning her head to look at her colleague again. "Would you mind just sitting with me for a minute?"

"Course not." Serena gave a kind smile, rubbing the woman's shoulder blade once more before she pulled her hand back, letting it rest in her own lap uselessly with her other one.

Though you'd expect the air to get warmer as the sun rose further into the sky, as they sat in silence, the air seemed to get colder, feeling as though ice shards were getting pulled into lungs instead of oxygen. Serena sat there for as long as she could, longer than she would have with anyone else, before she forced her cold legs to stand. "Come on. It's freezing out here."

Looking up again, Bernie seemed to study Serena's offered hand as though she wasn't quite sure what it was, but then suddenly her hand accepted the offer and she was pulled to her feet, her back arguing against the sudden movement.

"Why don't we go and grab a coffee to warm up?" Serena offered when Bernie kept hold of her hand but still stood rigid beside the bench.

"It's you." Bernie spoke suddenly, her voice clear and sure.

When there was nothing more forthcoming, Serena raised her eyebrows and asked, "What's me?"

"You're what's upset me." Bernie's voice almost whispered this, as though she was sure the woman before her would jump down her throat to deny it.

"…How?" Serena asked, for she was racking her brains for something she might have done to cause this response in Bernie, but last time she'd seen the blonde yesterday, they'd shared a warm smile.

Bernie drew it a deep breath, and then suddenly she was back on the bench, in the same position Serena had found her in, watching the cigarette. "It's…not you."

"I'm sorry, Bernie, but you're going to have to elaborate, because I've no idea what you're talking about." Serena gave a tight laugh, hoping to diffuse some of the tension she could now feel in the air.

"…Robbie came in this morning."

Serena racked her brains once more, but she couldn't remember Bernie ever mentioning a Robbie before. In fact, there was only one Robbie she could think of. "My Robbie?"

Bernie laughed at this, but it was devoid of humour, and then suddenly she was on her feet again, marching towards the hospital. It took Serena's body a second to catch up with her brain, and then she was rushing to her side. "I don't understand?"

"No, you don't." Bernie responded with a nod, ignoring the other people in the small entrance as she barged through them, forcing Serena to offer an apologetic smile before scurrying after the blonde who was now waiting impatiently in the queue for a coffee.

"I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to help if you don't tell me what's happened." Serena kept her voice low, aware of the other colleagues around them.

"You don't need to help." The words came out snapped and Bernie instantly regretted her tone as she lowered her voice to repeat. "You don't need to help. It's something I need to deal with alone."

As Bernie stepped forward to order her coffee, Serena stared at her, bewildered. She had no idea what was going on, and apparently never would. "Okay, well…I suppose I will see you upstairs."

The blonde gave no indication she'd heard this as Serena retreated to the lift, but as she stepped inside, she saw Bernie turning her head, their eyes meeting just before the doors shut softly.

* * *

"Robbie! To what do I owe the pleasure?" Serena forced a smile to her lips when she saw the policeman stood before her office door.

"I was interviewing a man downstairs, so I thought I'd come for a catch up." He held up the cardboard holder in his hands which held two now tepid coffees.

"Right. Well. Come in." Serena pushed open her office door and stepped inside, indicating for him to take the chair beside her desk as she hung her coat and bag up, her fingers momentarily brushing against Bernie's coat that had been dumped, as usual, rather unceremoniously beside the coat rack instead of on it. And then she was at her desk, sitting down and offering the man another tight smile. "So, how are things?"

"Good. Fine. Works been busy." He nodded, pulling a cup from its holder so he could place it on the desk for her. "I spoke to Raf earlier. He told me about Arthur. I'm so sorry." He looked at her than as though he expected her to break in front of him as she might have done before.

Serena's eyes were drawn to the coffee that she held between her hands, silence stretching before them painfully as she considered her response. Arthur felt like something sacred now, too important to talk about with just anyone. Thankfully, perhaps, she was saved from replying by Bernie's entrance, two cups of steaming coffee held painfully in her bare hands, though once she saw one already held by Serena, they came to rest with a bang on her desk.

"Don't mind me." Bernie offered them a tight smile, and in that instant Serena suddenly understood what was wrong. Bernie was jealous.

The laugh that escaped her lips made both Robbie and Bernie look towards her in surprise, both frowning when Serena attempted to cover it with a clear of her throat. "This coffee is awfully good. Where's it from?" Was all her brain could muster.

"Just the café next door." Came Robbie's reply, eyes narrowed.

"Oh. Well. They must have changed their supplier, because it usually tastes like dishwater." Serena gave a smile, forcing herself to take another gulp of the dishwater coffee in her cup.

Robbie replied with a smile before moving to sit on the edge of his seat. "Listen, I've got two tickets for-"

"Is that the time!" Bernie jumped from her desk, eyes still on the wall clock as though to emphasize she was, in fact, shocked that it was indeed half past 10. "We've got a meeting with Hanssen in a minute, Serena."

Biting back a smile, Serena gave a solemn nod, offering Robbie an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I'd better go, you know what he's like about punctuality. It's been lovely to see you. And thank you for the coffee!"

Smiling, Robbie stood. "My pleasure. It was lovely to see you too."

As he leant forward to drop a kiss to her cheek, Serena found herself being propelled onto the ward by a certain Bernie Wolfe, who then grabbed her upper arm to urge her to walk at a faster pace away from their office.

"You do know that Henrik isn't working today?" Serena asked, risking a glance towards her colleague though she feared a laugh might trip its way over her lips again.

"Yes, I know. Keep walking." Bernie responded in a low voice.

"…Where exactly are we walking to? Ah, the store cupboard. Yes, I always have my meetings with absent hospital administrators in store cupboards." Serena nodded wisely as she was once more propelled, this time into a room full of scrubs, the door shut forcefully.

Realising her thoughts and intentions were probably now very well understood by the woman in front of her, Bernie brushed the hair from her forehead and let out a long sigh. "Sorry." She finally offered. "I just…sorry."

"Oh, it's fine. I haven't made anyone jealous in a long time. It's quite refreshing, actually." Serena's voice sparkled with amusement which matched the twinkle in her eye as she watched the blush creeping up Bernie's neck.

"It's not funny." Bernie responded, resting against the front of a cabinet, unable to look at her colleague.

"It is a bit, Bernie." Serena finally gave a proper laugh, and despite herself a smile pulled at Bernie's lips, but it faded when Serena added. "I liked Robbie. In fact, I still like Robbie. He made me laugh until I had tears in my eyes, he liked to buy shiraz and I liked to drink shiraz, he liked the terrible foreign movies that no one else would ever see with me. He was a lovely…companion."

Bernie let out a long, unsteady breath, her heart breaking slowly, painfully into a million tiny shards. "Serena-"

"Let me finish." Serena interrupted gently. "He was a lovely companion, but there were some important things missing from our relationship. For a start, he had no interest in having anything to do with Jason, but we also didn't have something that I never realized I needed until I met you. That…warm, fuzzy, happy feeling in the pit of my stomach when we're alone in a room just being silent together."

Bernie risked a look up through her eyelashes and found Serena watching her intently. After their kiss, several weeks ago now, and a few days of dancing around the subject, they'd agreed to take things slowly and see how it went. Unfortunately for Bernie, that meant falling even more in love with the woman before her, and soon even the tiniest touch or look or kiss felt to Bernie like something intensely significant in her life. So when she saw Robbie that morning and heard that he wanted to see Serena, the thought of losing those moments had felt too much. Her life had been in turmoil for such a long time, and Serena felt like her only anchor. "I like Jason." Was what Bernie finally offered.

This brought a snorting laugh from Serena. "I know, and I know why. When either of you get something in your head, it gets stuck there even if it's completely wrong." Walking past Bernie, Serena rested her hand on the door handle. "Can we go back to work now, please, so our colleagues don't think we've come in here to do something entirely unrelated to store rooms?"

"Such as?" Bernie asked, the old twinkle back in her eyes as she finally looked up fully towards the woman in front of her.

"Out, Major." Serena opened the door, gesturing for the blonde to walk through it ahead of her.

"Funny, I thought I was the one 'out' already?" Bernie muttered mischievously as she walked from the store room, her earlier worry apparently forgotten.

Rolling her eyes, Serena exited behind her and shut the door. The indomitable Ms Wolfe could be insufferable at times.


	2. Pain

_A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews, favourites and follows! Hope you enjoy chapter 2 just as much._

* * *

Just after lunch time that same day, Bernie sat down in the nurse's station with a relieved sigh. Her back had been throbbing all morning, and as always seemed to be the case on the days she was in pain, her work involved being on her feet at all times and not sat in a chair.

"Is this an apology? Oh very well, it's accepted." Serena offered as she walked past, pulling the scolding cup of fresh coffee from Bernie's hands.

"What do I need to apologise for?!" Bernie called out, her pain forgotten the moment she saw the mischievous twinkle in Serena's eye.

"I missed out on 3 coffees this morning because of you. I just had to operate with not one ounce of caffeine in my system." Serena pointed out as she dropped the files she carried into the out tray to be filed.

"I'd better keep the lawyers on speed dial to deal with that imminent law suit, then." Bernie smiled down at the computer, able to see Serena's momentarily startled reflection in it before the blonde was hit deftly on the shoulder with a new stack of files. Though a laugh escaped her lips, it was punctuated with a grimace as her back gave in to another spasm.

"Bernie?" Suddenly Serena was in front of her, a frown of concern on her face that Bernie noted and filed instantly as one of her favourite Serena expressions.

"Mm." Was unfortunately all Bernie could offer in return.

"Is it your back?" Serena asked, her files momentarily forgotten as she rushed around to the other side of the nurse's station to assess her.

"It's fine, it will go off in a minute." Bernie assured her, though another grimace instantly pulled at her lips.

This time it was Serena whose only response was a mumbled "Mm" as she stood behind the blonde, a hand on her shoulder to make her bend forward slightly so she can check for injury or tenderness. In that moment Serena gave no thought to the fact Bernie was embarrassed of the scars on her back and just gently lifted up the back of her scrub top to begin an assessment. It became clear quite quickly, however, that the source of the discomfort was a large bruise on Bernie's lower back. "Oh god." Were the words that Serena finally uttered.

"It's fine, Serena." Bernie offered softly, slipping down the back of her top with a glance around to make sure no one else had seen.

"I'm so sorry." Serena's cheeks burnt a sudden, bright red at the thought of two nights previously. Though up until that point the physical side of their relationship had consisted of only kisses and the occasional fumbled yet urgent caress, that night Serena had wanted more. After a long, horrible day on AAU, she had craved the comfort and closeness of the blonde, and despite the fact it was her who'd requested they take things slowly, Serena had tried to hurry things along. Bernie had, in a rather lust filled voice, attempt to reason with the woman before her as they stood on Serena's doorstep, but her words were cut off as Serena gave her a firm, desperate kiss, pushing the blonde back against the door and, obvious now, the doorknob. To make matters worse, they'd had to separate, breathless, a second later as Jason had opened the door.

"I'm so sorry." Serena repeated, her fingertips brushing the material that now covered the bruise.

"It's fine. Honestly." Bernie spoke softly as she managed to turn around in the swivel chair to look up at the brunette. "It was worth it."

Serena attempted a smile, but it didn't meet her eyes as she worried about the woman whose back was already in a bad state. She had let her bloody libido get the better of her, and now it was Bernie who was paying the price.

"Tell you what, I'll accept your apology if you give me back that coffee, and then we will say no more about my back or this morning." Reaching up, Bernie's fingers brushed against Serena's hand, briefly locking with hers to offer a squeeze before she drew them away again, aware that they could be seen by anyone who cared to look their way.

Serena was surprised to find tears suddenly burning in her eyes. _God, woman! She's said it's fine, and it's only a bruise! Nothing to cry about!_ But the tears stung and she was forced to turn her face away as Raf approached to ask Bernie to check on his patient.

Glancing towards Serena, Bernie pushed herself to her feet again and exited the nurse's station, her fingers briefly finding Serena's once more to squeeze them as she walked away.

* * *

"Fletch! Have you seen Serena?" Bernie's question was rather breathless, because as soon as her patient was out of theatre she'd rushed back to the ward.

"Gone home." He gave an apologetic shrug.

"Home?!" Bernie looked up at the clock with a frown. It was only just gone 6, and Serena was usually the last of them to leave the ward unless they left together. "Did she seem…okay?"

Frowning, Fletch finally looked up from what he was doing. "Why wouldn't she be okay?"

"Ah, no reason. I'll see you tomorrow." Bernie offered a distracted smile before rushing towards their shared office, her back pain currently the least of her worries.

* * *

"Aunty Serena, the doorbell." Jason offered without looking up from his book.

"Yes, thank you, I hadn't heard it." Serena's voice dripped with sarcasm which, as usual, was lost her Nephew. She heard his mutter of 'you're welcome' as she trudged to the door. It suddenly occurred to her as she reached for the doorknob that she'd forgotten to order the fish and chips, and a glance at the clock told her Jason would be expecting his dinner soon. "Fuck."

"What, right now? Not even going to ask me in?" Bernie questioned, a twinkle in her eye as she stood on the front step, her arms laden with what could only be fish and chips. "You tend to forgo the food and go for the shiraz when you're upset, so I thought I'd do Jason a favour." Bernie finally offered by way of explanation when Serena just stared at her.

"…I'm not upset." Was all Serena could offer, her hand holding tightly to the doorknob that had caused all this upset.

"You are." Bernie's voice softened then, and she took a small step forward. "It's fine, Serena. I'm okay. You didn't do it on purpose."

"It's not fine." Serena suddenly snapped. "It's not fine! Whether it was intentional or not, I did something I did not ever want to do. I hurt the person that I-" Serena cut her sentence short abruptly, aware of what she'd been about to say. Something neither of them were yet to bring up.

To Bernie Wolfe, though, things had become completely simple for the first time in her life. She adored the woman in front of her, and so to ease some of the tension the brunette currently seemed to exude, Bernie offered gently, "That's one of the many, many things I love about you Serena. You can be so…flirtatious and sharp with your comments and actions, and seem to be completely carefree, but really you think about these things much more deeply than they deserve. I'm okay."

"Bernie-" Serena kept her eyes locked firmly on the fish and chip wrappers. She hadn't realized how desperate she'd been to hear the word love from Bernie's mouth until it was spoken, but she had never wanted to hear it for the first time in a situation like this.

"I love you."

A heavy sigh escaped Serena's lips and she finally lifted her eyes to look at the woman in front of her. "Bernie…"

"I'm okay." Bernie repeated in almost a whisper.

"It's time for dinner, Aunty Serena." Jason suddenly spoke from a few steps behind his aunt, making both of them jump. "Hello, Doctor Bernie. Are you staying for dinner again?"

"I…if you wouldn't mind." Bernie kept her eyes glued to Serena's.

"Well…usually you come when I'm at chess or on Shepherd's pie night, but you can come in tonight instead." Jason decided as he walked from the house to take the parcels from the surgeon's arms. "Shall I set an extra place, Aunty Serena?"

"Yes. Fine. Thank you, Jason." Serena offered, her eyes finally dropping from Bernie's as she stepped aside. "I suppose you'd better come in."

"Well, not often I get such a welcome." Bernie smiled as she walked inside, now feeling rather nervous. "I don't suppose you have a bottle of red on the go? I think I could use a drink."

"Aunty Serena has almost finished the one she's drinking, but she has another one ready to go. "Jason offered as he walked past them, causing Serena to shut her eyes.

"Not upset, you said?" Bernie asked softly.

Eyes still shut, Serena let out a sigh before admitting, "I've seen your scars, Bernie, not all of them physical, and I've heard all the stories about the times you've been hurt. I promised myself I wouldn't ever hurt you."

"It's a bruise, Serena. It will fade, and one day we'll both forget it was ever there." Bernie chanced stepping forward to place a hand to Serena's cheek, relieved when the brunette turned her head to drop a gentle kiss to its palm. "So, how about we pretend that today never happened and make a fresh start?"

"Forget everything from today?" Serena asked softly, her eyes finally opening again to look into those in front of her.

"Well, not everything. For a start I don't think I'll be able to get the sound of Serena Campbell saying fuck out of my head for quite some time." Bernie smiled, happy when it was reciprocated. "Come on, dinner before Jason bans me from fish and chips night because I made his food go cold."

"I love you, too." The words were said softly, nervously, when Bernie was half way towards the kitchen. Her steps faltered and she turned her head, a deep laugh escaping when Serena added, "But fuck, you do cause me some worry."

"Please stop saying that, I'm not sure my heart can handle it. Or my loins, for that matter." Bernie grabbed Serena's hand, pulling her into the kitchen.

"Don't think you're getting any of my shiraz, Major. It's a cup of tea and some pain relief for you."


	3. Remember?

Two hours later, in a haze of anti-inflammatories, pain medication and grudgingly provided red wine, Bernie smiled to herself. She could hear Jason talking over his documentary trying to explain something to Serena, clearly exasperated by her ineptitude. Serena herself was pouring a large glass of wine, identifiable by the ping of glass on glass, and her fingers were laced in the most delicious manner through Bernie's hair. The blonde's head rested in Serena's lap, and she found the quiet sounds of domesticity were making her the happiest she'd felt in a long, long time. The pain killer and wine mix wasn't entirely blameless for that feeling though, she had to admit.

"Aunty Serena, do you think Bernie will be awake in time to watch that new game show with me?" Jason suddenly asked, making Serena's hand pause its assault on the blonde's hair.

"I don't know, Jason. I could wake her up?"

"Don't you dare." Came a grumble from the heavy head that rested snuggly in her lap.

"There's no need, she's already awake." Jason pointed out, turning back to his documentary on the life of baboons, the third time he'd watched it this week. Serena was entirely bored with their bright red bottoms and wouldn't have minded never seeing another baboon in her life.

"Having fun?" Serena asked Bernie as another smile lit the blonde's face.

"The most fun a person can have with their clothes on." Bernie responded, her words slow, soft and happy.

"Do you like swimming, too?" Jason questioned. "I go swimming on Fridays in the summer."

As Serena gave a snort of laughter and hid her face in her wine glass, for she was well aware Bernie had definitely not meant swimming, Bernie smiled for what felt like the hundredth time that night. "I do like swimming, Jason. Perhaps I could go swimming with you one Friday in summer."

"Yes, if you like." Jason nodded. "Baboons are good swimmers. They're one of only a few primates who can swim."

Bernie drifted off into another drug and wine induced sleep to the sound of Serena groaning as Jason cross questioned her about where he could go and see a baboon, and if she thought Bernie had ever seen one close up.

* * *

The first thing Bernie was aware of the next morning was that her head was throbbing. The second thing she became aware of was that she was lying at a very strange angle, but thankfully, while tender, her back no longer seemed to be causing pain. The third thing she became aware of was that she was definitely not in her own bed, or in the on call room, or on the couch at Serena's where she had been the night before. A hand reaching out hesitantly, Bernie tried to assess her surroundings without opening her eyes. Relief tinged with disappointment met her when the blonde realized she appeared to be in a bed, alone.

A further assessment, eyes open this time, told her that she was in Serena's bedroom. In Serena's bed. Currently spread eagled on Serena's bed, to be exact. And in a t-shirt that was definitely not her own. Hand sliding down, she was once more relieved and disappointed to find she was still wearing both her bra and her underpants.

"Good Morning!" Came a sudden voice, too cheerful and loud for Bernie, and from entirely the wrong person.

"Morning, Jason." Bernie responded hoarsely, pushing herself up a little to squint through dry eyes up at the man who hovered over her.

"I have a coffee for you. Aunty Serena told me to wake up at exactly 8am so you won't be late for work." He held out his arm to show her his watch, which indicated that it was precisely thirty seconds past 8am.

"Thank you." Bernie managed, trying and failing to remember exactly how she got up here the night before. Then suddenly she processed Jason's words. "Your Aunty Serena isn't here?"

"She's gone to work." Jason pulled open the curtains and then left the room, oblivious to the panic that now consumed Bernie. She was in Serena's bed, alone, having clearly at least partly undressed at some point. Had she done something to upset her? Had she pushed her too quickly? Had she said something? Had she had one of her nightmares?

"Shit. Shit. Shit, shit, shit!"

* * *

Dom glanced up from his phone when he heard a familiar voice in front of him ordering a coffee. Bernie Wolfe. Bernie Wolfe in the same clothes she'd worn yesterday, in fact. "You look like you had a rough night."

Bernie turned to him, giving a tight smile as she ran a hand through her hair, briefly remembering that it had been Serena's fingers that had caused the tangles she now tried to ease out.

"…Anything you want to talk about?" Dom asked hopefully, eyes bright and eager.

Bernie was relieved that her coffee was ready before she was forced to answer. Giving Dom an apologetic smile and a mumble about being late, Bernie rushed towards the lift. Towards Serena, and whatever the situation was with her now.

Fletch was the first to see Bernie when she walked onto AAU a moment later, and his smile of greeting quickly turned into a frown. "You look a bit green around the gills. Not your back still, is it?"

"No. No, my back is fine. I made the mistake of mixing pain killers and red wine last night, though." And hopefully that was her only mistake.

"You're definitely going to need more coffee, then. Serena's already on the warpath!" Fletch smiled.

Oh god. So she had done something. _THINK, BERNIE, THINK!_

"Morning, Bernie." Came a sudden, resigned voice at her elbow. When Serena only heard a tiny squeak in return, she lifted her head from the article she was reading. "...It's not your back again, is it?"

"Her back's okay today, but she did mix red wine and pain killers last night." Fletch had the great pleasure of informing his boss.

"Yes, thank you, Fletch. I can talk for myself." Bernie muttered as the man walked away.

"Well, that was quite a silly mistake to make, wasn't it? Perhaps you should have listened to the woman who told you to stick to tea." Serena gave a small smirk as she passed Bernie to begin the walk to their office.

Bernie took a large, stinging gulp of her coffee before rushing to join her colleague. "Fletch said you were on the warpath?" She tried to keep her voice light, but Serena clearly heard something different because she turned to look at Bernie with a small frown before pushing open their office door.

"A patient's belongings have gone missing, but all the night staff swear they put the bag in the safe." Serena sighed as she sat into her office chair.

"N-nothing else has upset you?" Bernie questioned as she, too, sat down in her office chair, pretending to be focused on searching for something on her desk.

"Like what?" Serena's eyes narrowed.

Bernie was once more saved from having to answer a question by Fletch sticking his head through the door requesting Serena's assistance.

Serena pushed herself up and threw another glance towards Bernie as she exited the room, unsure quite why the woman appeared to be blushing so deeply.

* * *

"I've got it!"

Bernie had never quite understood the expression 'jumping out of your skin' until the moment Serena snuck up behind her an hour later as she stared out the window nursing her second coffee of the day. "Got what?" Bernie's voice shook slightly, and she silently cursed herself.

"You don't remember what happened last night, do you?" Serena had that mischievous glint in her eye again, and Bernie was torn between kissing her and racing away at full speed.

"...Not all of it." Bernie finally admitted, watching as Serena took the coffee from her hands and took a long sip before placing it back where she'd had it held tightly to her chest hoping it might impart some warmth.

Serena considered teasing her. In fact, she was desperate to tease Bernie at every chance she got, but the way the blonde shut her eyes and steeled herself made Serena change her mind. "Nothing much actually happened. Jason and I watched a quiz show and then he went to bed. I tried to make you go upstairs to bed, but you refused to move, so I covered you over and went to bed myself. Then, for god knows what reason, you got up at about midnight and came into my bedroom asking to borrow my baseball bat because there was a baboon in your swimming pool." Serena was unable to stop the laugh coming from her mouth, despite the fact at midnight and half asleep, it hadn't been nearly as funny as it sounded now. "Remind me to talk about something more interesting when you next decide to mix alcohol and medication!"

"What happened then?" Bernie asked, eyes squinting warily.

"Then I told you to shut and up go to sleep, because I'm very understanding at that time of night. You proceeded to take your top and pants off and rifle rather rudely through all my drawers before choosing something to pull over your head. Then you climbed in next to me, threw an arm over my middle and told me you needed to have sex before promptly beginning to snore."

Bernie let out a soft laugh, running a hand through her hair. "Doesn't sound the best, but it's much better than what I'd been imagining."

"What exactly were you imagining?" Serena leant against the window in front of the blonde, arms folded and a smirk on her face.

"That…that is a conversation for another time when my head is feeling a little clearer." Bernie dipped her head, tucking hair behind her ear as someone walked past them.

"You've intrigued me, now." Serena studied the woman in front of her. "Can I at least get a hint?"

"Well…" Bernie stepped forward, her nose brushing Serena's she stood so close, forcing Serena's eyes shut to stop the urge to kiss her. "If you spent a little less time thinking about what I'm thinking, you'd have more time to discharge your patients, Serena."

Despite the blush that had been creeping up her chest, Serena rolled her eyes and rested back against the window as another colleague passed by. "If you would tell me what was bothering you, I wouldn't have to waste that time."

"Touché. Still not telling you though." Bernie smiled and stepped back to head towards the stairs. "Albies. After work. My treat."

"What if I don't want to?" Serena called after her.

"You may not be able to read my thoughts, but I can read yours and they are thinking of shiraz." Bernie called before she slipped through the doors the level below.

Shaking her head, Serena couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips as she went back to work.


	4. Love and Tears

"You know something I do remember from yesterday?" Bernie's voice suddenly spoke silkily in Serena's ear making her jump and spill a little of the shiraz she had only just ordered.

"What?" Serena asked, one eyebrow raised as she watched the blonde signal the barman.

Bernie turned to her with a smile. "You told me you loved me."

Serena felt the redness of embarrassment beginning to rise on her chest, and she forced down a large gulp of red wine before replying lightly, "Well, you said it first and I didn't want to make you feel awkward by not replying."

"Oh, is that so?" Bernie's smile widened and she turned to look at Serena, her eyes sparkling with mischief, desire and something else Serena couldn't quite put her finger on as she smiled back over the edge of her wineglass.

The moment was soon broken by Morven suddenly sticking her head between them to order her drink.

* * *

An hour later, Serena had given up trying to stop herself going red, because she would never win while Bernie was in this sort of mood. The two of them had been dragged over to sit with their colleagues, and Bernie was unusually the one doing most of the talking, using the word love almost every second sentence, after which her eyes would linger on Serena with a smirk as the brunette blushed.

Serena finally managed to slip outside un-noticed, the icy air doing little to cool her down. A mixture of wine, desire, embarrassment, longing and the looks Bernie had been giving her were a sure fire way to give Serena Campbell a temperature rise.

"Of course, you know the thing I think I love most in the world?" The words were suddenly spoken softly into Serena's ear, silky and slow.

"What's that?" Serena asked just as quietly, cursing her voice for wavering as she turned to face the blonde who now rested against the building, that insufferable smirk on her lips.

"When you look at me like you can't quite decide whether to strangle the life out of me or take me then and there." Bernie's voice dripped like honey, and Serena was having difficulty linking this Bernie with the one who, only a day ago, had been so quiet and wary.

"Don't flatter yourself, Ms Wolfe. That look is me trying to decide between strangling you to death-" Serena stepped forward, so close that Bernie could smell her perfume and longed to lower her head and nibble at the pulse point on Serena's neck that made her moan.

"And?" Bernie asked instead, her hands involuntarily reaching out to rest against the brunettes hips.

Serena had intended to turn the tables, to do something that would make Bernie the one to blush when they returned to their colleagues, but suddenly her mind could no longer focus on her idea, instead becoming fascinated with the way Bernie began to respond to the cold, tiny bumps forming on her skin as the breath caught in her throat.

"And?" Bernie prompted again, her voice quiet as she watched the way Serena's eyes moved down to her chest.

Rather than replying, Serena lifted her hands and began unbuttoning the blonde's black shirt, easing the edges apart so Bernie stood with her bra exposed, her nipples straining against the fabric and the cold.

Bernie was freezing, she was stood just outside a bar with her bra exposed where she could be seen by anyone, and yet she barely even noticed, her focus solely on Serena, whose breathing grew shallower, her pupils dilating as she watched her own hand move up to cup the surgeons breast.

"Serena." It was whispered, the air turning opaque from the warmth of Bernie's breathing.

"Bernie." Serena breathed the name as her fingers brushed over the fabric, the warmth of her hand making Bernie give a soft moan. And then suddenly one breast is exposed to the elements, but only for a second before a warm mouth descended on it, the tongue twirling around the erect pinkness sending all the nerves in bernie's body firing, her hands gripping onto Serena's hips for dear life.

"Serena, we need to…" Bernie made an attempt to get them moving, but it was lost in a kiss as Serena suddenly pressed that warm mouth to hers, her hand replacing her tongue on Bernie's breast.

"I need you." Serena pulled back only slightly, both of them panting. "Please. Properly."

Bernie nodded, her eyes scanning the dark car park surrounding them as her fingers fumbled to do up her shirt and fix her bra, Serena's hand moving instead to slide under the fabric on Bernie's stomach, eager to touch her smooth, pale skin. Once she'd managed to look at least a little more presentable, Bernie grabbed hold of Serena's hand and pulled her towards their cars.

"Serena!" Came a call from the light source that was the bar.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why does this happen every time?" Serena muttered under her breath, missing the quiet moan Bernie gave as she rested her head against the car.

"Glad I caught you. It's Morven. She's upset, someone said something stupid." Raf offered breathlessly.

Serena drew in a breath and then let it out slowly, eyes turning to look at the blonde who still rested against the car, eyes shut.

"It's fine. You go. I'll come back in after I've…" she left the words hanging in the air, leaving Raf with a frown and Serena even hotter than she had been a second earlier.

"Right, come on, then. Who said what?" Serena asked, leading Raf back towards the bar. Would their time together ever be uninterrupted?

* * *

Despite her exhaustion and the hangover that was still niggling, Bernie slipped back into Albie's a short time later, disappearing to the bathroom to splash her face before her eyes scanned the room for Serena.

The brunette was currently sat on a bench stroking Morven's hair as the girl cried into her shirt. Serena had her eyes shut, but apparently sensed that someone was watching her because her eyes opened in a flash, already focused on Bernie who stood by the door, unsure.

It was the look in Serena's eyes that made up Bernie's mind. Serena may be the one who looks after everyone else, but Bernie is going to be the one to look after her. Giving Serena a gentle smile, Bernie retreated to the bar, ordering both Serena and Morven a drink before approaching them hesitantly.

"Here, Morven, Bernie's brought you a drink." Serena rubbed her arm, glancing up at Bernie with the same pained look in her eye.

Sniffing, Morven lifted her head and gave Bernie a watery smile as she released her grip on Serena to take the glass. "Thanks. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for." Bernie assured her as she sat on the edge of the table in front of them, holding out a glass of wine to Serena. The brunette took the drink more than willingly, her fingers brushing Bernie's before Bernie suddenly held her hand, pulling it to rest on her lap. Serena studied her profile for a moment before stroking her thumb against the warm, soft skin.

"It's just going back to an empty flat…all I can do is think about him. When that man assumed we'd broken up, and I had to tell him what h-happened to Arthur…"

"Well there's absolutely no need for you to go back to an empty flat. You can come and stay with me." Serena squeezed the shoulder she still had one arm around. "I know staying with a middle aged colleague and a…well, Jason, isn't exactly the nicest thing for a girl of your age, but-"

"I'd really like to." Morven gave another watery smile, lifting a hand to wipe her eyes.

"Well, that's settled then. Finish up your drink and I'll come with you back to your place to pick up a few things." Serena smiled at her.

"No, you won't." Bernie suddenly interrupted, causing them both to look at her. "Jason will be wanting his dinner soon. I'll take Morven home and then drop her off at your place."

Serena's face lit with the sort of smile that told Bernie she'd done exactly the right thing.

* * *

"You don't think Jason will mind, do you?" Morven suddenly asked Bernie an hour later as they drove towards Serena's house.

"I shouldn't think so, he's getting used to…people coming over occasionally." Bernie replied.

"Used to you, you mean?" Morven smiled. "I've been in love, Bernie. I know the signs."

"Someone else said that to me quite recently." Bernie smiled, glancing sideways at her colleague. "Serena doesn't want anyone to know just yet."

"Your secret is safe with me." Morven smiled, turning to look out the window as she thought of Arthur and what he might have made of the situation. He would have been happy, she decided, and therefore she would be too.


	5. happiness

Serena and Morven spent much of that evening talking and looking at photos of Arthur before Morven finally gave in to her exhaustion and went up to the spare room.

Serena was aware that Bernie had stayed and assumed she'd been working all night to keep Jason upstairs, hearing both of them only occasionally, the last time about an hour ago. Feet dragging, Serena followed Morven's path up the stairs, intending to tell them it was okay to come out, though Jason was probably asleep by now. It turned out Bernie was asleep too, and Serena was alerted to this fact by a quiet snore from her bedroom.

Bernie hadn't been in there before. In fact, tonight was about the furthest they'd gone with one another, for touching had been mostly confined to over clothing in the living room until that moment outside Albies. And yet Bernie looked as though she belonged there- she lay on the left side of the bed in only a singlet and her underwear, her long legs stretched out and her arms splayed wide as though she was asking for a hug. Serena hadn't been aware until that very moment that she still needed Bernie. Not the same way as earlier, but it was need all the same, and she was glad that somehow Bernie had sensed this and stayed around all night.

Quietly changing into her night things, Serena then crawled onto the bed, resting on one elbow to look down at the blonde who lay there. Dare she wake her? Or dare she put her head on Bernie's shoulder and curl into her side? Serena was desperate for the comfort she'd offered Morven, and yet didn't know how to ask.

"Serena?" Bernie suddenly mumbled sleepily, sensing eyes were on her.

"I need you." It was whispered, as it had been earlier, but this time rather than stating a fact with a voice dripping with desire, this time her voice was clouded with uncertainty and tinged with sadness.

Bernie opened her eyes immediately, and they searched Serena's, trying to understand what it was she needed. In that moment Bernie wanted to do exactly what Serena needed from her, yet as usual was plagued with worry that she'd get it wrong.

This time, hesitantly, Bernie lifted a hand to brush her fingers against Serena's cheek, finding it hot and slightly clammy from the tears that had been shed. Pushing herself up a little, Bernie dropped a tender kiss to Serena's forehead, and then as her arm wrapped around her, she drew the brunette back down with her, pulling her closer as Serena buried her face into her neck.

Serena cried again, then. For the loss of the boy she'd come to love so much, for the pain Morven was going through, for the loss of love that would never get the chance to blossom as perfectly as it would have, for the boy who had spent so much of his life trying to achieve things he would now never achieve.

Through it all, Bernie held her close- one arm on Serena's back rubbing gentle circles, and the other holding the brunette's head tightly to her to prevent Serena from worrying that Bernie wanted her to move away. All the while she murmured comforting words into Serena's ear until she ran out of things to say, and then she just whispered over and over again that she loved her.

* * *

As the rest of the house began to rise the next morning, Bernie was already awake. She'd struggled to sleep the night before, only managing a couple of hours before she had to get up, get outside into the world she dealt with so much better than she dealt with feelings. She'd returned to her flat, changed clothes and tried to make her hair at least presentable before she'd returned to Serena's. Using the key she'd taken previously, she'd unlocked the door and made her quiet way upstairs to Serena's bedroom. There, she sat against the headboard and just watched Serena sleep.

When Serena woke, slowly and with obvious disdain for the light streaming through the window, it only took the realisation that Bernie was still there, in her bed, to bring a smile to her lips. "Morning, Major."

Bernie smiled, her fingers stilling the absent stroking she'd been tracing over Serena's hair for the last hour. "I ran."

"Hmm?" Serena rubbed her eyes and then rolled onto her side, face half hidden in the pillow as she looked up at the blonde.

"I'm not…good at emotions. I always say or do the wrong thing. So when you fell asleep, I panicked and I left. You know how far I got? To the mailbox. I made it to the mailbox before I came back. I took your spare key and I went home to get some things, and then I came straight back. Apparently you're the person I've been waiting my whole life for. The person I can't run from." Bernie turned her head to smile down at Serena, a laugh escaping her lips when she found the brunette fast asleep once more. Bending over her, Bernie dropped a kiss to her hair and then stood, intending to make her breakfast before she awoke once more.

* * *

"Aunty Serena has ironed my Sunday shirt, not my Friday shirt."

Bernie looked up from the coffee she nursed with a frown. She was about to ask if it really mattered, but knew that to Jason, it did. "Bring me your Friday shirt and I'll iron it for you." She offered instead.

Jason studied her for a moment and then nodded, retreating to his room to get his shirt.

Bernie found herself smiling down at her cup, now. She fit here. She fit here like she'd never quite fitted anywhere.

"I'm late! I've just had a call from Hansson asking why I'm not at the meeting!" Morven was the next to come barreling into the kitchen, sticking her arms into her coat in such a hurry she hadn't noticed it was inside out. "I usually walk to work, but I don't know the way from here, so I'll have to wait for a taxi, and-"

"Take my car. The keys are by the front door." Bernie offered.

Morven stopped then, turning to look at the woman she barely knew. "I…are you sure?"

"Positive. I've been on the receiving end of Hansson's glare before." Bernie smiled.

"…Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Morven dropped a sudden, hard kiss to Bernie's cheek before racing from the room, the front door slamming a moment later.

...

"If you're going to be staying here, you can iron my shirts in future. You do a much better job than Aunty Serena." Jason offered half an hour later as they sat together eating breakfast.

"..I'm not sure how often I'll be staying, but whenever I'm here, you can bring me your shirts to iron." Bernie assured him as her eyes lifted to watch the doorway, hearing Serena finally come down the stairs.

"Aunty Serena says I should call people by only their first name if we are friends. I'm going to call you Bernie." Jason decided.

Touched, Bernie's gaze returned to him, offering a gentle smile as he offered a wide one, sure it was expected of him in the situation. "I'd like that very much, Jason."

* * *

"I feel all…discombobulated." Serena moaned as they entered the lift in the hospital, frowning when Bernie gave a quiet laugh.

"I know you went to Harvard, Serena, but using discombobulated in general conversation?" Bernie rested against the wall of the lift, and when Serena just huffed, she rolled her eyes. "Okay, tell me why you're feeling discombobulated."

"I don't know that I want to anymore." Serena looked pointedly at Bernie, but was unable to stop the slight upturn of the corner of her mouth. "…I just want to help Morven, and I know this is the right way to do it, but I can't help feeling…resentful, because my…want for you is quickly becoming need, and I'd rather not traumatize my staff by having my way with you within hearing distance."

"I can be quiet if you can." Bernie smirked, pushing herself from the wall to exit the lift. She'd discovered one emotion she could deal with pretty well- happiness.


	6. Sleepy

_A/N: Just a short one today! I've updated my computer and it deleted all the word files I had saved :( So this is more of a filler chapter, and the next chapter will be longer and have another R-rated insert if you wish to read it!_

 _I also want to thank everyone for the reviews, favourites, DMs and follows! They make me so happy!_

* * *

Exhaustion set in for Serena about lunch time, and when she happened to spot a coffee on Bernie's desk, she was unable to stop herself taking a long sip.

"Excuse me!" A voice cried from the doorway, footsteps approaching before a hand lifted to take the drink from her.

Serena opened one eye, squinting at the woman in front of her. "Is there anything I could possibly do for you that might make you give me that coffee?" When Bernie's eyes sparkled, Serena added dryly, "Anything G rated."

Bernie cocked her head to the side, taking in Serena's face- the redness of her eyes, the bags below them, the tense line of her mouth as she tried to suppress a yawn. "You can give me a hug."

Serena opened her other eye then so she could narrow her eyes suspiciously. "Why a hug?"

"Because I love you and I want to hug you." Bernie replied plainly.

Eyes still narrowed, Serena approached her hesitantly, but as soon as Bernie's arms were around her she relaxed into them, allowing herself to yawn and sigh almost simultaneously. "I suppose we're going to have to keep things like this here for the foreseeable if Morven stays on with me."

"Why?" Bernie questioned gently before dropping a kiss to Serena's hair. She knew the brunette wanted to be in control of the situation, so she was loathed to tell her that Morven had already guessed about their relationship or that she'd confirmed it.

"Isn't this all complicated enough without out the first few nights we spend together being paraded in front of a colleague?" Serena moaned, sighing when Bernie stepped back to rest against her desk.

"..I don't really think it's very complicated at all, actually."

"Bernie-"

"I love you. You love me. It's your house, you can do what you like there. You haven't minded doing anything in front of Jason, and he'd tell anyone who so much as hinted that something might be going on." Bernie reasoned.

"Well not quite anything. I don't mind hugging you or curling up together because he doesn't….he doesn't know that's not what friends do." Serena sighed, worried she was going to cause an argument by being adamant about this.

But Bernie just studied her face for a moment and then nodded, pushing herself to her feet before holding out the coffee to Serena. "I brought it for you, anyway, I just wanted a hug."

"Are you upset? Have I upset you?" Serena rubbed her eye tiredly, her face anxious.

"No." Bernie gave a slight smile before repeating herself as she dropped a kiss to Serena's hair. "Not at all. We're taking things at your pace. Right now, though, you are going to go to the on call room and get an hour or two of sleep." Putting her hands on Serena's shoulders, Bernie turned her to face the door. "On the double, soldier."

"You had even less sleep than me." Serena pointed out, though she gave no objection to being led towards the on call room.

"But I'm used to it, and you're either going to kill someone or cry in the middle of AAU so I am saving us all from that fate." Bernie pushed open the door to the on call room and held up they key. "I've got a handle on your patients, and I'll come back in a couple of hours to wake you up."

"I love you," Serena sighed, giving Bernie the sort of look that made her want to join Serena in the on call bed.

Instead, she took a step back. "Remember that when I wake you up."

Serena gave a soft laugh, and as Bernie shut the door she was lying down on the bed with a blissful sigh. Falling in love with a colleague did have its perks.

* * *

Though she longed for sleep, it refused to come, so Serena found herself back on the ward half an hour later, offering Berne's enquiring glance an apologetic smile. Right, another coffee and then paperwork.

Except as soon as Serena sat down in her chair, sleep came. Typical bloody sleep.

When Bernie came in a short while later, a smile toyed at her lips at the sight of Serena's rather uncomfortable sleeping position, her head on her desk, a cup of rapidly cooling coffee still in her hand.

"Ms Campbell, I...oh." Morven stopped beside Bernie, looking down at the brunettes head. "... i thought she seemed tired. Is this because of me?"

"I think this has been coming for quite some time. She's had a lot to deal with." Bernie responded softly.

"I should find somewhere else to stay, I shouldn't burden her. I'll-"

"You will do no such thing. She would kil one or both of us if she even knew we'd discussed this! She wants to help you, Morven, and this is the way she wants to do it." Bernie gave the younger woman a smile before putting her hand onto the door handle. "And I think we should probably leave her to her nap."

As Bernie shut the door, Morven suddenly began to look thoughtful. "Why don't the two of you go out tonight? I can stay in with Jason- make his tea and everything."

 _Yes, yes, yes! "_ I can't ask you to do that!"

"I'm offering! All I was missing was company, and Jason is company, so you two go out and enjoy yourselves." Morven smiled. "And before you start telling me all the ins and outs, Jason as already emailed me his schedule, so I know just what to make and when."

Bernie glanced back through the window at Serena and then finally gave a nod. "Thank you. I'd really appreciate that."

"Anytime!"


	7. Coffee

"Serena!" Fletch put down the file he'd been holding and rushed towards his boss as she tried to sneak from the office to go and get a coffee.

"You caught me." She held up her wallet with a guilty smile. "Can I get you anything?"

"Ah, no. I just want to have a quick word with you about Bernie." Fletch fell into step beside her.

"What about Bernie?" Serena glanced sideways at him and then took particular interest in the lift button she pressed.

"Was she assessed after she left the army? Like…mentally?" Fletch frowned, not quite sure how to phrase what he wanted to say.

Serena let out a laugh at this. "I'll tell her you asked me that. What's she done now?"

"Nothing! Well, I mean-"

"Spit it out, Fletch. There's a coffee downstairs calling me." Serena sighed.

"I think she might have like PTSD or something. I've just walked into your office a few times and she'd been really jumpy. It happened in the pub last night, and in the on call room a minute ago."

Oh, Serena had every idea why the blonde was so jumpy, but somehow managed to keep the amusement from her face. "I'll go and talk to her. Would you mind trying to keep anyone from interrupting us for a while?"

Relieved that it was apparently not just him who'd noticed this, Fletch smiled and gave a nod.

* * *

Bernie's eyes were shut and a deeply set frown was on her forehead as she concentrated. Her mind was focused on the night before, the feel of Serena's lips on hers. The shake in the brunette's voice when she'd admitted she needed her. The feel of her-

"My, my! What have we here?!"

Bernie practically leapt from the bed, tripping over her shoes that rested beside it, hand pulling guiltily from the waistband of her scrub bottoms as her eyes flew open. "Oh, it's just you."

"Well thanks very much." Serena responded sarcastically as she rested her back against the locked door to the on call room.

"I didn't mean it like that." Bernie sighed, a blush slowly creeping up her neck. "I was just…ah…"

"I could see what you were doing, Major. Often shirk your work for a quick-"

"Please don't say it." Bernie interrupted her, shutting her eyes again. "I've only just stopped forcing myself into cold showers every time I think of you saying the word fuck."

Serena gave a laugh, eyeing the woman before her thoughtfully. "Fletch wanted me to talk to you about how jumpy you've been. He's worried you might have PTSD."

"Well I have been having Pretty Terrific Serena Dreams of late, if that counts?" Bernie ran a hand through her hair. "If we've finished here, I think I might go for another cold shower."

"Oh, we have not finished here. I think I'd quite like to see the rest of the show." Serena pushed herself away from the door, smiling when Bernie looked back at her, startled.

"I want to, believe me I do, but our first time can't be in the on call room!" Bernie protested, managing to take a step back as Serena stepped forward.

"If we keep our clothes on, it doesn't really count as our first time, does it?" Serena questioned, a smile still playing on her lips. "Because I can guarantee however many times you've thought about me when you lose control, I've thought about you more."

Bernie whimpered then, accepting Serena's offered kiss readily.

* * *

"Missing something?" Fletch asked good naturedly when Serena walked back onto the ward looking a little lost about half an hour later.

"What?" Serena looked down at herself, suddenly worried she was having one of those horrible dreams when she turned up to work naked. Or maybe Bernie had slipped something off her and she hadn't noticed. Serena felt her cheeks beginning to burn.

"No coffee." Fletch offered.

"Oh! Right! No, I-"

"She doesn't see the point of getting her own when she has a lackey to get it for her." Bernie offered as she approached, one coffee in each hand.

"Well, you are only ALMOST equals, after all." Fletch grinned, receiving an amused wink from the blonde.

"Have you told everyone about that conversation?" Serena huffed as she accepted the offered coffee from her colleague...and now lover? Did what they'd done count? Serena had no idea. Perhaps now would be a good time to stop thinking about it, however, because she was beginning to feel an all to familiar feeling between her legs.

"Thinking of anything interesting?" Bernie murmured in Serena's ear, and the feeling of her warm breath sent a shiver down the brunette's spine.

"Just that you've put too much sugar in my coffee." Serena responded, head lowered so no other colleague could see the blush creeping onto her cheeks.

"I thought you could do with the energy boost." Bernie responded before walking away, although not without first pinching Serena's bum.

"Are you okay?" Fletch glanced up from the file he was reading with a frown when Serena gave a squeak.

"Oh..peachy. Listen, I've spoken to Bernie about what you were worried about, and I think she's fine. I'd probably be quite jumpy too if I'd been through what she has." Serena rested herself on the edge of the nurse's station, suddenly overcome with tiredness and something else she thought Bernie had extinguished, at least for the time being.

"If you say so. Let her know she can talk to me anytime she needs." Fletch smiled and then returned to his patient, allowing Serena time to survey the ward in silence.

She soon caught sight of a certain blonde talking to a patient. Laughing quite openly with said patient, in fact! Another feeling came over Serena then- a happy warmth. When she first arrived Bernie had been so standoffish with patients and colleagues alike, and now she was actually laughing with one. Serena liked to think she'd had something to do with that. _Perhaps I've rubbed off on her? Well, I did half an hour ago! Oh, stop it, Serena! Get on with your work, you're not a horny teenager!_

Serena found her cheeks burning again when Bernie glanced up her way, a knowing smirk settling on the lips that Serena already ached to kiss once more.


	8. Dinner

_A/N: I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I've written and rewritten it so many times and I can't seem to get it just right, so I'm going to post it as is!_

* * *

An hour later and Bernie found herself watching the clock. She'd never been one to wish a shift would go faster, but apparently this was another thing Serena brought out in her. The blonde was still tossing up whether or not to take Morven up on her offer tonight, worried that Serena may be too tired, but at the same time desperate to spend time alone with her when they wouldn't have to hide anything.

She was considering that perhaps she could invite Serena to her flat and just cook for her when the phone on the desk rang. _Please don't be Hanssen._ "Bernie Wolfe, AAU."

"Hi, Mum." It was Cameron's voice, and he sounded far away.

Bernie pushed herself up in her seat, back straightening. "Cameron! It's lovely to hear from you."

There was an uncomfortable clearing of a throat on the other end of the line before Cameron asked, "Are you busy tonight?"

"We…I umm…no. No." Bernie offered as she glanced at Serena's desk.

"Do you think maybe Charlotte and I could come over for dinner? She wants to talk to you."

"Oh! Is that…well, I mean, that's good. Of course you can." Bernie's free hand scrabbled around the table until she found the piece of paper with her address on. "What-what time?"

"Half past 6? And maybe you could make a roast? Dad's roasts are never as good as yours were."

Bernie glanced at the clock, wondering if she'd have time but dismissing the thought immediately, for she knew she'd do whatever she could to make her children happy. "Of course! Roast it is! I'll see you both at half past 6."

It wasn't until Cameron had hung up that Bernie realised she'd forgotten to ask exactly what Charlotte wanted to talk to her about, and dread took over from the nerves that had begun bubbling inside.

"I might have to strangle that man in bed 5, he's-" Serena began as she entered their office, before frowning. "Are you okay?"

Bernie's head flew up, blonde hair falling into her eyes. It was only for a second that Bernie considered telling her, because she didn't want to add another worry to Serena's life. No, she'd wait until she knew what they had to say before she'd tell her. "Fine. I was ahh…since it's quiet today, I thought I might head home early?"

Serena bit back a smile as she sat down at her desk, because Morven had already broken her promise and told Serena of Bernie's plans. "I'm sure I can manage alone for the next couple of hours."

Throwing a smile across the room, Bernie jumped up and reaching for her bag, blindly pushing things into it as she went through a mental list of the things she'd need for dinner.

"Any particular plans for the night?" Serena asked lightly.

Bernie glanced up and then offered another smile and a shake of her head.

Serena's light smiled faltered then. Still perhaps Bernie was just planning on calling her later after a hasty clean-up of her flat. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, then."

Bernie nodded this time, and was half way out the door before she rushed back in, giving the stunned brunette a rather forceful kiss on the lips. "Thanks, I needed that." Bernie offered breathlessly before rushing from the office.

* * *

Four hours later and Serena sat in Albie's nursing her second glass of shiraz. Straight home after work, she'd changed her outfit and made sure Morven understood exactly what Jason would expect of her. Unwilling to get caught in a discussion with Jason, Serena had headed to Albie's to wait for Bernie's call, and was now fast losing hope of every receiving it.

Maybe Bernie had got what she wanted in the on call room and was no longer interested. _No, Bernie's not like that-_ Serena reminded herself with a sigh. _But you didn't think Edward was like that, and look how that turned out._ Serena signalled the barman, eager for another drink. Or maybe the glimpse Bernie had had of her body had turned her away? _Bernie's not like that!_ Serena reminded herself sternly, but the following thought made nervousness begin to bubble inside. _You would have said the same about Edward at one time._

* * *

Bernie looked around her stark flat with a critical eye. Dinner was almost ready, and they'd be here soon, so there was no time to change anything around, and she'd changed things twice already and it wasn't looking any better. Reaching out, she grabbed the bright blanket Serena had given her as a housewarming present and put it over the back of the couch. It would have to do, and it would make her think of Serena which always calmed her thoughts.

But then the doorbell rang and her nervousness was at full blast once more. The deep breath she drew in did little to calm her, and neither did brushing her fingers over serena's blanket.

"Mum?" Came Cameron's voice through the door.

 _Mum. That's me._

Bernie finally kicked into gear and rushed over the door, pulling it open a little too firmly and looking down, startled, when the knob came off in her hand.

"...Classic Mum."

Charlotte was the first to speak, and when Bernie looked up and found her own nervous smile mirrored back at her, she finally began to relax. It would be okay. _I hope._

"Are you going to invite us in?" Cameron finally asked as Bernie just stared.

"Yes! Of course. Sorry." Bernie stepped aside, making a sweeping motion with her arm to welcome them before shutting the door behind them. "S-sorry it's not…It's…well…I don't exactly…"

"It's fine, mum." Cameron finally offered, saving her from herself. "We're not here for the décor, anyway."

"Right. Yes. Sorry."

"…So, can we sit down, or do we have to stand the whole time?" Charlotte questioned.

"Oh! Sorry. Yes, you can sit." Bernie smiled, stepping forward to indicate they could sit on the couch as she sat on the edge of the armchair.

"Is something burning?" Cameron sniffed.

Bernie gave a slight smile. "It was. I tried to make your favourite biscuits, but I got caught up in making gravy and I left them in a little too long."

"Trying to cook favour, as usual." Charlotte mumbled.

"That's not fair, Charlotte." Cameron pointed out.

"It is." Bernie sighed. "I just… when I was home, I tried to give you all the things you were missing out on while I was away. The home cooked meals, the clean rooms, the-"

"We didn't want those things, we just wanted you." Charlotte sighed. "Dad brought us everything we needed, including a nanny and a cleaner who did everything we asked of them. All we wanted from you was a mum."

"And I let you down." Bernie lowered her head. "I'm…I know it's not going to mean anything after all this time, but I really am sorry. I loved you both. I still do. So, so much. But…I wasn't happy, and I used the army as an escape from that."

"Are you happy now?" Cameron asked.

When Bernie lifted her head, she caught sight of Serena's blanket and a small smile pulled at her lips. "I think I am, yes."

"..Are you back with…" Charlotte left the words hanging, and Bernie was so caught up in thinking of Serena that she didn't understand her for a moment.

"…With Alex? No! No. That..that ship sailed a long time ago. It was built on anxiety and heightened senses, and wouldn't have lasted in the real world." Bernie sighed, looking between her two children. "I never meant for either of you to get hurt, please believe that. I didn't want to hurt your father, either. I just…" Bernie sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"You loved who you loved?" Charlotte questioned softly. When Bernie looked up at her through her fringe, Charlotte gave a small smile. "Mum, I don't care that it was with a woman, or that it happened at all, really. We all knew you were unhappy. I just wish you'd..you'd trusted me enough to tell me."

Bernie's anxious eyes glanced towards Cameron before clearing her throat. "Well, perhaps on that note I should tell you about someone…someone I've met."

As Cameron gave a small smile and lowered his head, Charlotte edged forward in her seat. "Serena Campbell?"

"How did-" Bernie began, looking startled before Cameron gave a guilty smile. "Yes. She's…she's a work colleague and…and I am in love with her."

"Does she love you?" Charlotte whispered.

"She thinks the sun shines out of mum's arse." Supplied Cameron. As Charlotte laughed, Bernie tucked some hair behind her ear, giving an embarrassed smile.

"Well, I wouldn't quite go that far. But yes, she…she says she does." Bernie nodded, feeling a blush beginning to creep up her cheeks. "Perhaps one day, you'd like to meet her."

This surprised Charlotte, used to her mother keeping things very private. Maybe she really had changed, like Cameron had said. "I'd love that."

"Right, now that is all out of the way, I'm starving!" Cameron smiled, pushing himself up. "Kitchen this way?"

Bernie nodded, pushing herself up too. "I'm not sure it's going to be as nice as you remembered it, though."

"Nice? Mum, your roasts were terrible!" Charlotte pointed out. When Bernie turned to stare at Cameron, he gave an apologetic smile.

"I must have got them mixed up. Sorry."

"Why don't we all stop with the apologies and see what we can salvage?" Charlotte stood up with a laugh, but as the family headed towards the kitchen, there was a rather loud knock on the door. "Expecting anyone?"

Bernie frowned and shook her head. "It might be the lady from next door. She seems to think I have stolen her cat."

"Did you?" Cameron teased.

"No comment." Bernie smiled as she opened the front door. It was only instinct that made her lift a hand to stop Serena's next knock which would have hit her square in the face. "Serena! What-"

"I know, okay? I just don't see why you didn't just come out and say it!" Serena swayed on the spot as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself.

"Say what? What's happened?" Bernie frowned with concern, reaching out a hand to try and slip the car keys from Serena's clenched fist.

"You..you got what you wanted, and then I'm thrown away! Just like Edward! At least he had the guts to tell me, though. But you did what you do best and you just left and hoped I'd pretend nothing happened." Serena stared angrily up at the blonde, her voice full of hurt, her words slurred with alcohol.

"I don't…Serena, I don't understand. What's happened?" Bernie repeated.

"Morven told me! Morven told me what you had planned, and I waited and waited for your call. But I suppose what you got in the on call room was-"

"Hello, Ms. Campbell." Cameron stepped up to stand beside his mother, and a moment later another face appeared, eyeing Serena curiously.

Serena looked between them, realisation slowly dawning in her eyes. "Oh. Oh god. Shit. I'm…oh god." She shut her eyes tightly, willing herself to wake up and for this all to be a dream.

"I didn't want to add to your worry by telling you my children were coming to dinner.. I-I didn't realise Morven had spoken to you about her offer."

Charlotte watched as her mother reached out to run a gentle hand down the brunette's arm, amazed at how tactile she was being when usually she'd stand back with arms folded. This Serena Campbell must be something special indeed.

"I…I should go." Serena offered, nodding in agreement with herself before she turned away, embarrassment burning on her face.

"Stay." Came an unfamiliar, yet at the same time familiar voice. "Stay." It repeated. "Mum's made, or should I say attempted to make, a roast chicken, and she always cooks as though there's going to be twenty people for dinner." Charlotte understood this woman's hurt, though this time her mother had probably done nothing wrong. She understood what it felt like to love her so much it hurt, and for Bernie to give nothing in return, making the mind go into overdrive.

When Serena glanced back at them, both Cameron and Charlotte gave her a smile, while Bernie continued to stand there looking entirely puzzled by the situation, and concerned about the fact Serena still held her car keys tightly.

"Please." Bernie added, eyes on the keys.

Serena turned to look at her car and then back at the family, looking trapped. Finally, embarrassment still burning, she nodded.


	9. After Dinner

The meal was eaten first under a strained silence and then halting conversation. Serena remained quiet, going over and over what she'd done and feeling a warmth over her cheeks that wouldn't go away, and Charlotte remained silent, watching the way her mother and Serena seemed to communicate with only their eyes. This led to Bernie, never her strong point, and Cameron trying to keep the conversation going. Bernie asked about her children's lives, listened, and then was forced to ask again because she was so nervous she didn't take anything in, and Cameron focused most of his questions on Serena, all of which Bernie answered for her.

Bernie was at least relieved to find out it was indeed her roast that was the best, and even more relieved that it was Charlotte who told her this, apparently slowly coming to the realisation that her father wasn't as perfect as she'd been led to believe.

The awkward version of a family dinner came to an abrupt end when Charlotte stood to go to the bathroom and noticed that Bernie was holding Serena's hand under table rather tightly. Serena saw Charlotte notice, and immediately went to pull her hand away, unfortunately knocking over the bottle of shiraz that was on the edge of the table.

"Oh god. I'm sorry." Apparently the only words Serena felt able to say that evening. She stood, looking around for something to blot up the widening stain on the floor, and Cameron through for one panicked moment that she was about to slip off her shirt to do the honours when nothing else came into view.

"I'll get towel." Bernie finally moved into gear, jumping from her seat before rushing from the room as Serena sank back into her chair, absolutely mortified about how the evening had gone.

"I-I don't normally-' Serena began, missing the worried look Charlotte shot to her brother, sure she was going to say she doesn't normally have sex with women. Sex, women and her mother in the same thought was too much too soon for Charlotte. Thankfully, Serena continued, "Show up and humiliate myself on people's doorsteps. Or spill expensive wine on new carpets. I've just…had one of those weeks."

"...To be honest, I think it's made the evening a lot more bearable than it was probably going to be." Cameron finally offered with a laugh.

"At least the awkward silences were because of you and not because of mum and I." Charlotte offered, earning herself an elbow in the ribs from Cameron and a wry smile from Serena.

"Glad I could help, then." Serena replied sarcasitcally

Before they could talk any further, Bernie returned the room to throw a towel over the spilt wine before righting the bottle onto the table. "It's only on the rug, I can always get it dry cleaned." She offered Serena, though she didn't look at her.

"From what I've heard of Ms. Campbell, it's difficult to tell whether she's upset that she ruined your rug, or that she spilt perfectly drinkable shiraz."

"I don't suppose I could wring it out back into the bottle, could I?" Serena questioned.

It was the sudden sound of Bernie's laughed which all three of them so cherished, that finally broke the tension in the room, and Serena was delighted to find the rest of dinner focused on Bernie rather than herself.

* * *

"…I had a good time. Eventually. We should do this again sometime." Cameron gave his mother a warm smile before leaning forward to drop a gentle kiss to her cheek.

"Soon." Bernie promised, a smile on her face that she wasn't sure would ever leave. She felt like tonight had finally brought her children back to her.

"You might want to set out some water and a few pain killers." Charlotte offered, glancing to where Serena lay against the arm of the couch, having fallen asleep as soon as dinner finished.

Bernie's smile widened as she looked at the brunette and back at her daughter. "I would say that life with Serena in it isn't usually so eventful, but that would probably be a lie." The surgeon tensed at the realisation she'd said the word 'lie', sure that Charlotte would make a barbed comment, but instead she just smiled back at her mother.

"I like her."

"…I do, too." Bernie offered softly.

Not yet ready to hug her mother, Charlitte reached out and squeezed her hand instead before following her brother from the house. Bernie watched from the doorway until she could no longer see the car before she shut the door gently. Resting back against it, Bernie let out a happy sigh.

Things with her children were beginning to be sorted, so up next was sorting Serena.

Walking to the couch, Bernie considered waking her but instead settled on Charlotte's suggestion and set down some water and pain killers in front of her, covered her with a blanket, and then set about cleaning up.

After that was done, she found Morven's mobile number and dialled.

* * *

When Serena woke, it was in pitch black with a throbbing head. Try as she might, the last thing she remembered was being in Albie's and drowning her sorrows. Oh god, please say she hadn't left with someone. Oh god, there was definitely someone else in the room. How would she explain it to Bernie?

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't grip my arm so tightly, I do actually need circulation in my hands." Came sudden, mumbled words from behind her.

"Bernie!" Serena's mind flooded with relief.

"Expecting someone else?" Bernie asked sleepily. After making sure Morven was okay to be with Jason alone overnight, Bernie had joined Serena on the couch and must have fallen asleep quite quickly, for it felt like as soon as she shut her eyes she woke to Serena holding her arm with an iron grip.

"…I did something really embarrassing, didn't I?" Serena cringed, a laughing face suddenly coming to mind that could only belong to Bernie's daughter.

"Little bit." Bernie responded, tightening her hold a little. "And we can talk about your reasons for doing it tomorrow, but right now, all I want to do is thank you."

"Thank me?" Serena frowned, rolling over to face the blonde, though she still couldn't make out her features.

"Cameron messaged me when he got home. They want to do dinner again next week, and he hopes you and Jason would like to come as well." Bernie smiled into the darkness.

"…Oh. So…so..my presence wasn't entirely loathed, then?"

"Your presence was entirely loved, Serena Campbell. Now take the paracetamol and go to sleep, or you're going to be impossible in the morning." Bernie offered gently.

"…I didn't take my top off, did I?"

Bernie gave a loud laugh at this, moving forward to brush her lips against Serena. "Almost, but not quite."


	10. Rest

Sighing, Serena rolled as best she could onto her back, leaving Bernie pressed against the back of the couch looking down to where she could just make out Serena's features. "I thought tonight would be the night."

"For?" Bernie prompted, though she had every idea.

Serena either paid her no attention or ignored the question entirely. "It's just so...difficult to focus on everything life keeps throwing at me, when all I can think about is Berenice Bloody Wolfe naked."

Bernie's lips twitched with a smile as she lifted a hand to stroke her finger down Serena's cheek. "It's not just me though, Serena. You've been pushing yourself for weeks, taking on things you shouldn't, and you need a rest."

When Serena next spoke, her voice sounded small and tired. "But it's too late now. I have too many responsibilities that-"

"That you need to hand over to someone else for a while." Bernie said gently as she lowered herself to drop a gentle kiss to Serena's lips. "Speak to Hanssen, he can find someone else to do that review."

"But the staff-" Serena went to argue.

"Will understand. As for Jason, I will work something out with Morven and Alan, and we will all keep an eye on him for you. Then you are free to do whatever you want. You could find a hotel in the middle of nowhere, you could go on holiday somewhere you've always wanted to go, you could visit Elinor. Or, i-if you wanted to, you could stay right here in this flat."

Serena's eyes flickered shut as she allowed herself to imagine for a moment what it would be like not to have anything pressing to do, to just sit and do boring things all day in this flat until Bernie got home. They could truly relax together, find out everything about one another. Be a proper couple. "Ok."

It came out so softly that Bernie wasn't quite sure she'd heard it, but when she froze, Serena added shyly, "I'd like to stay here."

Bernie silently hoped that meant she'd agreed to everything else she'd mentioned, too.

"Now, about that other thing that's bothering me…" Serena's fingers danced on the small patch of skin exposed on Bernie's hip, pouting a little when Bernie's hand rested over hers to flatten it.

It almost physically hurt Bernie to say her next words. "Not tonight, Serena." When Serena went to turn her face away, Bernie captured her chin and dropped another gentle kiss on her lips, repeating this until Serena finally began to respond. "You're tired."

"I'm wide awake." Serena huffed, though she knew what Bernie meant.

Bernie's fingers brushed over Serena's lips, wondering if she'd be able to be the stronger woman before deciding she could be if that's what Serena needed. "I won't say no to a few kisses, though."

Serena gave a faint smile, dropping tender kisses to Bernie's fingertips until Bernie replaced them with her lips.

This time, Serena fell asleep in the warm arms of Bernie Wolfe, lips red from kisses and a mind that no longer raced.

* * *

"Oh god."

When Serena woke the next morning, her mouth was dry, her head felt as though it was filled with banging sledgehammers, her body ached, and muddled images from the night before kept popping into her head. "Bernie?" It came out more as a croak than a name, but there was no response, forcing Serena to open her eyes. No Bernie. But on the table in front of her were a cup of steaming coffee, a large glass of water with something still fizzing in it, and some dry toast, on top of which a note rested.

Unsure she'd still remember how to read, Serena nevertheless picked up the piece of paper and squinted at its contents.

 _Serena Campbell._

Why did Bernie always insist on using a full name when writing notes? It's not as though there was another Serena in her flat to mix her up with.

 _I've called a few people and sorted out a few things for you, I hope you don't mind. And in case you don't remember what things, here is a rundown of what we decided upon last night._

· _You're staying at my flat for at least a week._

· _Jason is being taken care of._

· _Morven is happy with the arrangement._

· _Hanssen has agreed to give you time off and get someone else to do the review._

· _Yes, I still remember that you really, really like chocolate croissants when you have a hangover- I'm out buying you one now._

· _Raf and Fletch are also both fine with the arrangement and are taking Jason to the football tonight._

· _Yes, I do think your breasts are beautiful._

Serena cringed at this one.

· _I am also aware you think my bum is the nicest thing you've ever touched._

· _I miss you, too._

· _I'll be home soon._

Home.

 _Bernie._

Suddenly her hangover didn't seem so bad after all.

* * *

When Bernie arrived back a short time later, a hastily but neatly packed bag of Serena's things and a pain au chocolat in hand, Serena was fast asleep again, the doona from Bernie's bed covering all but a tuft of brown hair.

Smiling, Bernie was careful not to wake her as she cleared up and then sat down to write out Jason's new schedule for him. Not that she'd tell Serena, but he had started panicking when she'd told him about a change of plans for the next few days, but after much reassurance and a promise of a hard copy of his new schedule, Jason had actually agreed that Serena needed some time away from everything.

Bernie was surprised at herself, the way she'd so effortlessly offered to take over Serena's life for her. In the past, she would have agonised over actually saying something, would have felt it was not her place, or that Serena would not appreciate the move, but something last night had told Bernie it was her only choice.

Though she must admit she enjoyed a drunk Serena, she was drinking entirely too much to cope with her life, and her emotions were all over the place. Bernie knew that her own presence and their feelings for one another were probably not helping, either, but try as she might in the past, Bernie had learnt that there was nothing either of them could do about feelings. So, everything else needed to change instead.

"You're thinking too loudly." Came a sudden, muffled grumble from under the doona.

Bernie smiled, reaching out to draw a tickling finger down the sole of an uncovered foot, which was quickly drawn back into the mountain of comfort. "Morning, sleepyhead. Well, afternoon now, actually."

Serena gave another grumble and then remained quiet for so long that Bernie decided she must have fallen asleep again, but then finally she gave a long moan before saying hoarsely. "I want to have a shower."

"I'm not stopping you. There are fresh towels and a suitcase of your things on the bed." Bernie smiled again. She did a lot of that when Serena was around.

"…I don't want you to see me before I've showered." Serena grumbled.

"You do know I saw you this morning already?" Bernie offered gently, a smile still playing on her lips.

Serena let out another groan, tired and red eyes slowly peeking out from under the covers. "I don't really think you'd do it."

"Do what?" Bernie frowned at this sudden change of conversation, putting down the pen in her hand so she could give Serena her full attention.

"...Cheat." Serena offered quietly.

Serena's actions the night before suddenly clarified in Bernie's mind, but try as she might to be soothed by Serena's words, she still felt a little hurt that this was the issue that had worried Serena so much.

When Serena saw the look that crossed Bernie's face, her ebbing headache came back full force. "I just…with Edward…I'm just…and then you…" She sighed, pulling the covers back over her head again, begging the fog to clear. "I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, because right now I feel wrong about everything, that you cheated on Marcus because you were unhappy, because you needed something that he couldn't give you no matter how hard he tried and no matter how hard you wanted him to. And I think you might have ended it with him a long time ago, if only you'd been brave enough. But I don't think you'd cheat on me, because you're just..you with me. You're not the woman you tried to be with Marcus, and you're not the woman who hid a vital part of herself from A-Alex, so just… just Bernie wouldn't sort of…" Serena sighed, unable to remember quite what she'd intended to say.

But before she could gather her thoughts, the covers were pulled away from her face, and despite the fact she probably looked like a half dead panda, Bernie was looking down at her with pure love. "I wouldn't cheat on you, Serena Campbell, for two reasons. One is that you understand me sometimes better than I understand myself, and two, because I am so completely in love with you."

"Even after I ruined your family dinner, your carpet, your-"

Serena was cut off by Bernie kissing her softly.

"No ifs, buts or evens. Not anymore. Just Bernie Wolfe loves Just Serena Campbell." Bernie pulled Serena up a little to kiss her again before brushing the brunette's nose gently with her own. "Now, how about I go and run you a bath, warm you a towel and make you another coffee?"

Stretching, Serena gave a wide smile. "That sounds perfect." She watched Bernie smile and stand, but by the time she reached the doorway, Serena added, "Bernie? About that other thing that's bothering me…"

"We have all the time in the world to fix that issue, and we can fix it as many times as you need…once everything else is sorted out."

Serena gave a frustrated grumble, pulling the covers overhead once more. That Berenice Bloody Wolfe really was unshakable when she got an idea in her head.

* * *

 _A/N: THE END- For now. I have a few other stories that have taken precedence over this one, and this was written with no particular plot in mind just because I wanted to write Berena, so now all my plot ideas are going into other works! I may pick it up again once Bernie is back, but for now I'm marking it as complete._

 _For those of you who like M-rated works and haven't found me yet, you can check out Sleepy_Daydreamer at Archive of Our Own. To keep things simple (in my mind, sorry for those who disagree!) I am going to post all my M-rated works there (including this story in full) and keep my G rated things here._

 _Thank you for reading, reviewing and enjoying xxx_


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